In Our Solemn Hour
by Sailor Moonac
Summary: SPOILERS all S5. Coda 5x17. Dean has left to say "yes" to Michael in desperation. Sam and Castiel race against time to find Dean and bonds over the meaning of Castiel's ressurection and the real reason Castiel rebelled. Love. Castiel x Dean


**Author's Note:** Got into med school, so I'm writing again! Yay! And to those who read my other stories, I promise I will finish my other stories before starting med school. Promise.

This was inspired by the 99th episode (99 Problems) and from the preview clip about Castiel and Dean. So, **SPOILERS for the 100****th**** episode!** And actually, there will be a spoiler about the 20th episode too. And the rest of season 5 that has already aired and maybe some that has not aired yet. If you do not want to be spoiled, do not read...or read after the episodes have aired (please?) And please do note that this is based only from a small clip of the 100th episode, so most of this is purely speculation from my part. And since I am a Dean and Castiel slash fan...this is **Mature **rated for violence and for Dean and Castiel...ahem...you get the point. If you do not like this or are not old enough, do not read. Otherwise, enjoy and I don't own anything. If I did, Team Freewill would have been hugging each other the _entire_ episode. And there's a tiny hint of Sam/Castiel too. Or it could just be considered friendship; it depends on how you want to squint. Cheers.

* * *

In Our Solemn Hour

By: Sailor Moonac

Castiel watched Dean as he left the room, knowing that he was lying to Sam about getting bandages from the Impala. Castiel closed his eyes and winced, feeling the effects of the Whore of Babylon's spell fading, but still crippling in its pain. Castiel sighed wearily in pain as the roar of the Impala pierced through the silent night. Sam rushed out the door, screaming for his brother as Father Gideon stared after Sam in fear. Father Gideon turned to Castiel who ignored his attention, instead focusing his gaze to a discoloured spot on the motel wall. 'Dean...'

When Castiel had asked Dean how he dealt with his absent father, Dean's answer was "on a good day, you get to kill a whore." Dismissing. Deflecting. And not an answer. Castiel realised for a long time now, Dean did not have any answers. Not anymore. There were no answers as to why they should keep fighting. No will. No way. Castiel's only hope was his Father, God. But even his Father had forsaken them and now destroyed his faith. Drinking the entire liquor store had been stupid, Castiel knew that, and it only numbed the pain for a brief time. The alcohol induced pain and dizziness was a sore reminder of what Castiel had lost, of what Castiel had sacrificed. All of it, for Dean. Because Dean had the answers. Because Dean had said it was 'families' that were real. But as Sam came back into the room, growling with a near demonic rage, Castiel realised this family was no longer real. With his defection from Heaven, the only family, the only friends he had were Dean and Sam. But even that is now...

Sam slammed his fist into the lamp, flying it against the mirror of the room, and kicked over the table and chairs. Father Gideon looked between Sam and Castiel and seeing Castiel's lack of response to Sam's anger, focused his attention on placating Sam. After several minutes of destroying furniture, Sam grabbed his cellphone and called Dean. Dean didn't pick up his phone, but Sam still left an explicit message for Dean before throwing his cellphone onto his bed gracelessly. Sam cast a glance at Castiel who met his eyes.

"Cas? Please tell me there's a way for you to find him?"

Castiel closed his eyes and sighed in pain. "With the sigils I carved into you and your brother's ribs, I cannot find your brother but..." Castiel pushed himself up painfully from Dean's bed. Sam rushed over to Castiel's side and pushed himself between the headboard and Castiel's body, allowing Castiel to sit upright against Sam's solid frame. "According to Dean, Zachariah has given devout preachers Dean's image and have asked that they pray to the angels if they see Dean. That was how Zachariah discovered Dean months back when you and Dean were separated. I can still hear the prayers of these devout men. For Dean to be able to contact the angels, he cannot just shout—"

Castiel broke off and coughed up blood painfully. Father Gideon quickly rushed over with a towel which Sam took gratefully and pressed to the side of Castiel's mouth. "Easy Cas, easy. Just take it easy." Sam wiped the blood from Castiel's face and took the cup of water Father Gideon held out to him. "Would some water help Cas?"

"No, I will be fine." Castiel gripped his side painfully and took in a few gulps of air, a small part of him wishing he had not rebelled. But that thought was squashed quickly as Sam rubbed his back soothingly as if he were a child. For some reason, the pain seemed to lessen with that action and instead, guilt started to well up within him. "I...I must apologise Sam."

"For what?" Sam went back to wiping blood from Castiel's face. "Dean's the stupid, idiotic, jerk here."

Castiel nodded his head into Sam's shoulder. "For calling you an 'abomination'."

"It's no big deal; you were drunk. Now about Dean shouting?"

Castiel shifted so that his face was not so pressed into Sam's shoulder and Sam continued to rub Castiel's back soothingly. "Before I branded you and Dean, I could still hear Dean call for me wherever he was in the world. The sigils prevent me and other angels from being able to hear Dean. So even if Dean were to shout for Zachariah or Michael, they would not be able to hear. They would not be able to hear him unless they know where he is. I speculate Dean may go to one of these devout men to get the message to the angels that he wants to say 'yes' to Michael. If that's the case, then I can find Dean that way."

Father Gideon broke in. "But couldn't the other angels hear the preacher's prayers too."

"Yes however, I will have a slight advantage; I know Dean intends to contact them and am actively listening for it."

Sam stopped rubbing Castiel's back. "Are you up for this though?"

"I have to be." Castiel sighed heavily and closed his eyes. "I will not sleep."

"Cas..." Sam went back to rubbing Castiel's back soothingly, slowly smoothing away the pain of the Whore of Babylon's spell as Castiel focused his remaining grace to the billions of people praying in the world to a God that does not care about them anymore.

* * *

Sam had hot-wired a car the first thing in the morning and had started driving immediately to Bobby's. Sam had no hope of following after his brother electronically since his brother had turned off his phone. And since he had taken the Impala, it would be difficult to figure out which credit card, if any, would Dean use to get a room. And without any idea of where Dean had intended to go, Sam could not analyse and hypothesise Dean's route. Therefore, Sam was stuck relying on the angel sitting in the passenger seat with his eyes closed, listening to the prayers of billions.

Sam gripped the steering wheel tight until his fingers turned white with rage. His brother. His stupid big brother. Wasn't Sam supposed to be the one to always make the mistakes? Wasn't he supposed to be the one running off and making mistakes, just so his big brother could come for him? Come and help fix his mistakes? The situation now compared to a year ago, was completely reversed; a complete irony. Sam hated what he had done to his brother. Hated that he had trusted a _demon_ over his own brother. Hated his pride, his ego, his long sought meaningless revenge. And now he started the Apocalypse. But the pressure isn't on him; it's on Dean. The Colt doesn't work on the Devil, God won't interfere, and all Sam has to do is to continue to say 'no' to Lucifer. But Dean is the one under pressure to say 'yes' to Michael. Because if he does not consent to be Michael's vessel, and with no other seeming way to stop the Devil, the world will burn. And the guilt would fall all on Dean. Just because he didn't say one word. Sam knew, without a doubt, if such a situation were to come to pass, Dean would never forgive himself and would be swallowed in guilt for all eternity. Sam understands why Dean feels he has to do this. But...but he'll be losing his big brother. And Sam's not a child anymore, running away for weeks to live with a dog and eat candy all day. And now it's his turn to save his big brother.

"I intend to save your brother as well."

Sam eased his grip on the steering wheel, easing off the gas slightly as well. "Were you reading my mind?"

"No. But it's clear what you are thinking." Castiel turned to glance at Sam. "There is a lot of desperation and pain in this world. Even now, I want to try to atleast ease some of the pain of this world. But there's nothing I can do about it. Not anymore."

Sam glanced at Castiel briefly from the corner of his eyes. "Do you think...do you think you shouldn't have done it?"

Castiel turned to watch the road straight ahead. "You mean to ask do I regret rebelling against Heaven? Sam, do you know why I rebelled against Heaven?"

"Yeah, because—" Sam cut himself off. Why Castiel rebelled against Heaven. Sam was about to say because he knew it was the right thing to do, because this was to protect Earth—but that's not the reason why. Realisation came to Sam as he recalled a distant conversation in Bobby's hospital room. Dean and Castiel, up in each other's face, angry and verbally sparring each other as he stood off to the side watching awkwardly. An amulet [that was worthless, but hidden under layers of clothes around his neck] that was pulled from reluctant fingers and a final glance between his brother and Castiel. No. Castiel didn't rebel against Heaven because it was 'the right thing to do' or to 'protect the Earth'. He had said it before in that forlorn hospital, 'I did it, all of it, for you.' He did it for Dean. Not for Sam. Not for humanity. Not for the Earth. All of it for Dean. "Shit."

Castiel turned to Sam, concern written on his face. "What's wrong?

Sam shook his head and re-gripped the steering wheel tightly in his hands before relaxing his grip. "Do you think God still loves you, even though you rebelled against Heaven?"

Castiel startled at the question. Castiel turned his gaze out the passenger side window. "No, I don't think so. I rebelled, I killed my brethren, and I have lost my faith in him..." Castiel rested his head against the cool window in a very human gesture. "He would not love me anymore."

Sam reached over and rested a hand on his Castiel's shoulder. "I think you're wrong. I think God still loves you.

"God may not think this is his problem, but I don't think he's uncaring. He saved Dean and me from the convent. He removed the demon blood from me, and gave me a second chance without having to go through that horrible withdrawal again. But most importantly," Sam turned to Castiel who also turned to meet his eyes. "He brought you back to life. I mean, no offence, but you're not all that important. You're not very high ranked amongst the angels, nor are you that powerful, especially now. I mean, the only thing that makes you special is the fact that you like us, humans. But God still brought you back to life. Hold on." Sam slowed the car to a stop on the side of the road and turned to a bewildered Castiel with an excited smile on his face. "I mean, I can't fathom to think I can even guess what God's thinking. But...but God brought you back to life, for what reason? To protect Dean and me? To give us a fighting chance? Yeah maybe, but like I said you're not all that powerful now."

"Sam what are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying God brought you back to life for a reason. And doesn't the Bible say that God loves all of his creations? God loves you, me, Dean, everyone. Why would he let everything he loves burn and die? Maybe because it doesn't have to end up that way. God brought you back for a reason. Maybe, you're all that we need to stop the Apocalypse. You, Dean, and Me. Maybe God told us to back off, because we don't need to find him to stop the Apocalypse. Maybe we have everything we need to stop Lucifer right here, with you. Because there is no other logical reason to bring you back and keep Dean and me safe."

"That's preposterous. I..." Castiel looked to his open palms. "I can't do much of anything anymore. What can I do that the other angels can't do?"

Sam turned back to restart the car, glancing at Castiel once more before returning back onto the road. "You can make Dean believe." Silently to himself, Sam added. 'And you can love Dean.'

As if God was agreeing with Sam's answer a light drizzle had started halfway to Bobby's house. And with the sun peaking through the clouds, a rainbow arched over the sky above Sam and Castiel, making Castiel wonder if his Father was still watching over him.

* * *

They reached Bobby's house by night fall, and still Castiel had not heard any prayers about Dean. Remembering the night before confronting Raphael, Castiel couldn't help wonder if Dean was drinking in another den of iniquity with one last woman before handing himself over to Michael. Castiel couldn't bring himself to hate the idea of it, since that night was one the most fun he has ever had with Dean. Silly, confusing, a little terrifying, but fun.

"Hey, you hear anything yet over there on your angel radio?"

Castiel opened his eyes and turned to look at Bobby. Castiel shook his head and turned back towards the window, closing his eyes once again. Billions of voices full of desperation all calling out from their souls to be saved. All seeking salvation. A small ache started to form deep within Castiel's being. Castiel wanted to believe everything Sam had said in the car. The way his eyes lit up so brightly when he was answering why he thought Castiel was important. Castiel wished with all of his being he could believe again as fervently as Sam.

A woman's screaming prayer to an angel caught Castiel's attention. She was apparently being attacked by a man with pure black eyes. A demon. He was toying with her. Chasing her around her own home and ripping doors from their frames with ease. Holding a glass of whiskey in one hand and a blade in another.

That kind of prayer was not rare in these days of the Apocalypse. But a woman praying to Castiel's name is. "Sam, Bobby." Castiel turned from the window to see Sam's eager face.

"You found him—?"

"No." Castiel frowned at Sam's fallen expression. "But there is a woman being attacked by a demon."

"Where?" Bobby rolled his wheel chair closer to the angel.

"Winchester, Virginia."

Sam snorted at the name but focused again quickly. "I can't get over there that fast, but how do you know about it?"

"She was praying."

"It's probably too dangerous to go. The other angels probably can hear her as well, and I really hate to say this. But it's the Apocalypse, there's going to be demon attacks all over the place. Man I really hate that." Bobby turned the wheel chair around gruffly and rolled back to the desk.

"I know, but she was praying to _me_. To my _name_ specifically."

Sam stood up from where he was sitting. "Your name, how is that possible? I mean Castiel isn't exactly a renowned angel name. No offence. Again."

"None taken. I don't know how she would know my name but..." Castiel focused on the woman's prayer. She was still alive, but terrified. The demon had slit her petellar muscle, preventing her from walking properly. Castiel turned his attention to Sam again. "It may be a trap, but...maybe it's not."

Sam was silent for a few moments and Bobby looked between the two of them. Finally, Sam nodded and walked over to his bag to retrieve the demon killing knife. He handed it to Castiel and gripped Castiel's shoulder's tightly for a moment. "Be careful. And get out of there if it's a trap. Call, if you're in trouble. I'll get down there as soon as I can."

Castiel nodded and opened his wings to fly to Winchester, Virginia, to a woman who was praying to him for his help. When Castiel appeared before the woman bleeding on the floor, he instantly knew he had flew into a trap. Because upon seeing Castiel appear, the demon, Crowley, instantly snapped his fingers and angel barring sigils instantly started to burn on the walls of the bedroom the woman was in. Crowley's eyes met the terrified woman's eyes and instantly, she slumped over on the floor unconscious. Castiel was trapped.

"Took you damn well long enough to get here. I was beginning to wonder if you were actually going to come. It'd be smart if you didn't, but you're obviously stupid," smirked Crowley in his British accent. "But you're here, so let's talk."

"Crowley."

Crowley waved his glass of whiskey up at Castiel in a mock toast. "You didn't actually think I didn't know I was being followed that time, right? Well I did want you to find me." Crowley turned and set his whiskey on a night stand before sitting down on the bed. "And it seems dumb and dumber didn't actually miss shooting the Devil. Of course it seemed it didn't work, troublesome undoubtedly, for all of us. Please, have a seat." Crowley beckoned to a chair behind Castiel. The chair flew around the unconscious woman on the floor and scraped to a stop beside Castiel. "Oh, and don't worry about her. She'll live. And after this she will really think she does have you watching over her."

Castiel sat down on the seat. "You gave that woman my name."

"Yep." Crowley reached over to the night stand and pulled out a card used as a bookmark from the Bible. Crowley flicked the card to Castiel who caught it swiftly. "Neat little thing huh? Just had to borrow the body of her priest for a little bit and since she's a religious nut, she'd believe it."

Castiel frowned before throwing the card into the flaming Enochian sigils that barred his exit from the room. The card had been a picture of an angel with his name written in English on the bottom. On the back was a prayer written in English, asking for Castiel's divine protection. The Enochian on the background of the card was a summoning spell, tailored specifically to Castiel.

Crowley chuckled. "You know that's not going to get you out of this room."

"That's true, which is why I haven't killed you yet." Castiel pulled out the demon killing blade and gripped it firmly in his hand. "Now tell me why you summoned me here."

Crowley smirked. "Well since shooting Lucifer with the Colt didn't work, I had to try to find another way to kill the Devil."

"And?"

"And I may have found a way. I'm not certain it would work—hell I was sure shooting him with the Colt would work. But that went to hell. Well, I wish it went to hell. Instead we got Death."

Castiel leaned forward. "How?"

Crowley shook his head. "Get the Winchesters to agree to meet with me. And then we'll talk. Couldn't leak out a bunch of rumours and innuendos this time, because damn it to hell, I think it'll work. And if that's the case, Lucifer will definitely be showing up on my doorstep. Give me your cellphone."

Castiel frowned but pulled out his cellphone regardless. He tossed the phone to Crowley who caught it lazily. He pressed several buttons on Castiel's phone before the cellphone in Crowley's pocket started ringing. With a audible press of another button, both phones became silent. Crowley fiddled with Castiel's phone for another minute before tossing it back to Castiel. Castiel caught it and saw that Crowley's name was now inserted in his phone book between Bobby and Dean. "Damn you're a pitiful guy, you've only now got four numbers in your phone book."

"I have no need for many phone numbers."

"Still pitiful." Crowley typed Castiel's number to his phone and saved it. "I'm an old demon and let me tell you, the cellphone is the best invention ever. Well, second to the internet." Crowley stood up and Castiel copied him. "I'll be in touch, and tell the Winchesters of my intentions. Cheers." With that, Crowley picked up his whiskey and threw it into the flaming Enochian sigils which all erupted in a giant fireball before fading, leaving a black burns upon the wall. Crowley was gone.

Castiel glanced at the woman briefly before flying back to Bobby's house. Upon arrival, he immediately noted that Bobby and Sam had not moved from their spots in Bobby's study.

"Cas! You okay?" Sam rushed to Castiel's side, who passed the knife back to Sam.

"Yeah. It was Crowley. And he has a plan to stop Lucifer, but he needs to see you both to tell you."

Bobby rolled his wheel chair quickly closer, knocking a book off the table in the process. "What plan?"

"He didn't say. But he's...confident that it should work, which is why he did not let rumours spread. He," Castiel held up his cellphone. "Gave me his number, and said he'll be in touch."

Sam took the cellphone to look at Crowley's number. "Do you think he's telling the truth?"

"I do believe he is not lying."

Bobby and Sam exchanged looks. "Then we just have to find Dean before he can say 'yes' to Michael. Cas, maybe this is—"

"Yes," cuts off Cas. "Maybe." The 'God's doing' is left unsaid between them. A light warm feeling began to pulse within Castiel.

* * *

It wasn't until the next night that Castiel heard it. "Our father who art in Heaven, hallow thee thy name—" Even without hearing Dean's name, somehow Castiel knew this was the one. This was the devout man that is hallowing his Father with such joy at having found Dean. Quickly, before this man's loud, joyous prayer reached the other angels, Castiel flew.

"You pray too loud." With a touch of his powers to the man, he slumped over. Quickly turning to grab Dean, Castiel flew them to another city in case the angels did hear that man's prayer. With a grunt, Castiel slammed Dean into the wall of an alley by the lapels of his jacket.

"What are you crazy?"

A quick raging anger took over Castiel. Dean was really going to say 'yes' to Michael after everything they been through. With his supernatural strength, Castiel lifted Dean up by his lapels and threw him behind him into the adjacent wall. "I rebelled for this?" Cas slammed Dean into the wall before punching Dean in the face twice quickly in succession. With each punch, the anger grew greater and with it, hurt. Castiel pulled Dean up to his face. "So that you could surrender to them?" Angrily, Castiel threw Dean back into the wall behind them again and punched Dean again and again, this time in the gut.

"Cas, please!" Hearing Dean's voice made the pain and anger in Castiel grow. After everything he had done for Dean...Castiel grabbed Dean by his arms and brutally swung Dean around, slamming his back into the wall, cracking and dislodging some of the bricks. Pressing up into Dean and leaning into his face, Castiel let the anger and hurt leach into his voice. "I gave _everything_ for you—and this is what you give to me?" Castiel threw Dean from the wall and punched him again before finally kicking Dean hard enough to fly him into a metal fence. With a crash against the fence, Dean slumped down by the fence. Angrily Castiel walked up to Dean and glared at him as he laid there on the ground, coughing up blood. Glaring down at Dean with his blood stained face and bleeding mouth, Castiel felt a different emotion start welling up inside him.

Dean glanced up at Castiel, pausing to look at Castiel's clenched fist before meeting Castiel's eyes. "Do it." Castiel clenched his jaw. Guilt and pain were slowly taking over his feelings and the rage slowly receeding. "Just do it!" Castiel had to wonder then, if he could really kill Dean. Could Dean do anything that was so absolutely terrible that he would kill him in rage? Watching Dean cough up blood and wince in pain from the rain hitting him, Castiel knew he could not. Castiel unclenched his fist and felt most of the rage that filled him so vilely and quickly fade away into a dull drum. Reaching down towards Dean, Castiel found he was saddened to see Dean turn away and accept whatever fate Castiel will give him. Touching Dean's shoulder, the shoulder that bore his hand print, Castiel pushed his power into Dean who slumped over immediately.

After staring down at Dean for a few moments, Castiel pulled out his cellphone and called Sam's cellphone. Sam picked up the phone on the first ring with an urgent "Cas?"

"I have Dean."

"Thank God. He hasn't said 'yes' yet has he?"

"No, I stopped the prayer before the other angels could hear him. Sam, I'm going to take your brother to a motel to recuperate."

"Recuperate? Cas?"

Castiel sighed wearily and felt the guilt within him grow. "I'm sorry, I was angry with your brother. And I did not hold back my strength as I should have."

"Cas...just take care of him okay? And keep an eye on him."

"Of course, I will bring him to Bobby's tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, take care Cas. I guess I don't have to go and beat him up myself then huh?"

Castiel smiled briefly before hanging up the phone. Castiel reached down and touched Dean's shoulder again, flying them to an empty motel room within the city. Depositing Dean upon the single queen size bed, Castiel walked to the door and pulled it open to attach the 'Do Not Disturb' sign outside of Room 100. Turning back to Dean, Castiel sighed and began removing Dean's clothes.

Once Dean's top half was bared, Castiel could see the bruises forming rapidly. The bruises on Dean's back were a mesh of brick shaped bruises with the criss-cross of the fence. Retrieving a wet towel from the bathroom, Castiel wiped the blood from Dean's face tenderly as Sam had done for himself couple of nights ago. At times like this, Castiel truly wished he still had Heaven's powers at his disposal. He could heal Bobby's legs and he would be able to heal Dean of the injuries he inflicted upon him. Over a year ago if Dean had pushed Castiel the way he had pushed him that night, the worst he would do was threaten to throw him into hell without feeling any emotion from it. But now, Castiel had felt rage, pain, and guilt, all in the span of a few minutes. Castiel pulled up a chair and sat down, leaning forward onto his knees to watch Dean. The spell he put on Dean should only last a few more minutes. When he wakes, it will surely be another war zone.

* * *

Dean woke up an hour later, wincing in pain and clutching his abdomen as he tried to sit up. Castiel made a move to help Dean up, but decided against it when Dean's eyes darted over to Castiel's in fear. Instead, Castiel sat back against the chair and watched as Dean moved to sit up against the head board, mirroring Castiel from couple of nights ago. "Dean."

"Why didn't you do it?" Dean winced and breathed in painfully, shifting his arm to better clutch his bruised abdomen.

Castiel moved forward, internally flinching in pain when Dean physically flinched away from him. Castiel reached over Dean to pull two pillows from the bed towards him. He used his free arm to lift Dean away from the headboard and propped the pillows behind his back. Gently, he set Dean back down against the pillows and returned to his seat. Dean let out a sigh of relief that made Castiel lower his head in shame. "I was absolutely livid about you. I am still angry with you, however I am also sorry I lost control of myself and hurt you so badly." Ignoring Dean's scoff, Castiel continued. "I won't kill you Dean. I would never kill you. I had died for you and even now, I would probably still die for you if I could keep you safe." Castiel raised his eyes to meet Dean's. "You may find it difficult to believe under these circumstances. But I am your friend and I do love you, no matter what idiocy gets into you."

"Wait, wait. Love?"

Castiel nodded. "I would not have taken the steps I had taken if I did not love you. Your conviction to saving the world, to protecting _families_. I love that conviction you and Sam have. I love how dedicated you were to this, how strong you fought against the angels—but then you threw that all away! Where is the Dean Winchester I love?"

Dean released a relieved sigh that confused Castiel. "I thought you meant...never mind. I'm tired Cas. And God was our last hope. And he said he doesn't give a flippety fuck. So we're fucked Cas. Michael is the only chance we have so that this world doesn't burn."

"But some will burn regardless. Dean." Castiel moved to sit on the bed by Dean who tried scooting away but stopped when Castiel took a hold of his arm gently. "Sam and I have been talking, and yes this does seem hopeless, but it is not hopeless. Sam brings up the point that God brought me back to life for a reason. Me, this small insignificant thing that cannot possibly hope to affect anything with my meagre powers and diminishing faith. And yet God still brought me back. I want to believe, it was all for a reason. And yesterday, I have come to realise that God has given us everything we need to defeat Lucifer on our own.

"The Apocalypse was started by us, therefore we are the ones that must end it. The demon Crowley may have possibly found a way to stop Lucifer, but he wants to meet with you and Sam to discuss it. Forget Michael. Don't say 'yes' to Michael. There is still a chance, there's still hope. Dean. You must see this and keep fighting. Sam and I don't want to lose you, nor do we want to lose this world."

Dean gawked at Castiel before pulling his arm out of Castiel's grip. "How do you know Crowley's not lying? The Colt didn't work—"

"But he gave you the Colt regardless. Even if he knew it wouldn't have worked against Lucifer, giving you the Colt would be dangerous to his existence. And I do not believe he was lying this time. He gave me his phone number to contact him later and let me leave unharmed from the trap he had set for me."

"His phone number? So that—"

"Dean." Castiel leaned into Dean's face so that Dean's eyes could look nowhere but Castiel's own. "Do you honestly believe just because you are Michael's vessel that any deal you make with the angels, with Zachariah, would hold? Do you believe they will honour your wishes once Michael has taken your body, when you have no more control? They will kill Sam; they will kill Bobby; they will kill me. They will burn the Earth."

"What about people's happiness in paradise when—"

"Then there will be no more freewill Dean. That is paradise. No hatred, no crime, no evil, because no one will have the will to commit any of it. Do you truly want that?"

"But—"

"Demons have contracts." Castiel reached up to hold Dean's face millimetres from his own. "And therefore they must follow the contract without fail. Last year, when Lilith attempted to make the contract with you and Sam, if the deal was made, it would be true. She would never break that contract. But angels do not have contracts Dean. The angels have been lying to you this entire time and now you truly believe they will honour their words? If there is any angel you should believe, it should be me. Please, Dean. There is a chance, so don't do this. Don't give up, please."

"Cas..."

Castiel released Dean's face and sat back on the chair he had pulled up. Castiel sighed wearily and dropped his head into his palms as he leaned on his knees. "Get some rest Dean. If you need anything just let me know." Castiel didn't look up as Dean shifted around on the bed, nor did he look up when Dean touched Castiel's hand.

"All right." Castiel looked up. Dean had a weak grin on his face that was marred by his grimace. "A guy can't listen to something like that and not agree. And you're right I guess. The angel's are all dicks, worse than demons. At least with demons you expect it. And I trust you Cas."

Castiel sat up straight and wrapped both hands around Dean's hand and leaning his forehead against it. After a few minutes, Castiel released Dean's hand and stood up to help Dean back to the bed. "You should rest. Do you need anything?"

"A six-pack would be nice."

"I am not getting any alcohol for you. Nor for myself. Being drunk was unpleasant."

"Cas." Dean shifted so that he was sitting half propped up on a stack of pillows. "Were you praying just now?"

"Yes."

"To God." Castiel nodded. "About?"

"I asked him for forgiveness for losing faith in him. And I asked that he bless us and watch over us. Even though I know he will not interfere to stop the Apocalypse, I still prayed that he would guide us."

Dean twisted his fingers around the sheets of the bed. "Do you think he's rooting for us?"

"I would like to believe so."

"Cas. Come here." Dean beckoned Castiel to his side on the bed. Castiel moved over to Dean and sat down facing Dean by his side.

"Is there something you need—?"

Dean pulled Castiel by his tie towards his face and roughly pressed his lips against Castiel's chapped lips. Castiel blinked in surprise, barely steadying himself with a hand on the wall over Dean's head. Dean pulled back slightly before gentling his kiss, softly sucking on Castiel's lower lip before letting him go.

Castiel pulled back enough to look at Dean, who had a weary grin on his face. That warm feeling within Castiel grew warmer until it started to burn like a fire. Castiel pulled back further with a startled expression upon his countenance. Dean's grin fell. "That's why Sam said 'shit'."

"What? Is this a really bad joke Sam's been telling you? Because hey—"

"Why do _you _always deflect with a bad joke?"

"Well, I-I—"

"It wasn't a joke." Castiel gave Dean a small sideways smile. "A couple of days ago when Sam and I were driving to Bobby's house. I had asked if he knew why I rebelled. He started to give me an answer before he seemed to realise something. His expression was amusing and he seemed very shocked and surprised. Then he said 'shit' and never answered the question. I didn't understand realise myself what Sam had realised until right now. So, shit."

"Shit? Okay? Care to share with rest us here in the peanut gallery Cas?"

"I love you."

Dean looked away. "Yeah you kind of declared that about 10 minutes back, lover boy."

"No, I mean I_ love_ you."

Dean started to turn away to his side, shifting painfully and slowly. "Yeah, yeah, yeah..."

"You love me too don't you Dean?" Dean snorted and denied it, but Castiel could still see Dean's ear turn red. "If this were last year, I probably would believe you. But this isn't last year. Tell me what you need Dean."

Dean didn't move for a while and pretended to be asleep. After a minute of the charade, Dean sighed and slowly turned himself back straight so he could look at Castiel. Dean pressed his lips together tightly before shrugging his head, giving in. "I need you in me."

Castiel blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"Yeah, okay. Never mind. You're obviously still a virgin."

"You need me to have sex with you?"

"No! No, no. It's—just no." Dean shifted to turn back away.

"Dean." Castiel leaned over to tentatively press his lips against Dean's softly. It was chaste and inexperienced. Castiel had never kissed anyone before, and though he understood the mechanics of kissing and sex, it was still something he had never engaged in. Castiel pulled back away from Dean and stood up. He pulled off his trench coat awkwardly and deposited it on the chair he had vacated. The rest of his suit soon followed until he was standing awkwardly by the bed in his trousers.

"Cas you don't have to do this. I was just curious and I had wanted to try something like this once before I died or became an angel condom. And hey! I'm not saying 'yes' to Michael so no biggy."

Castiel sat back down on the bed by Dean's hip. "Your lower genitalia seems to disagree."

"Oh my God!" Dean rolled his eyes in exasperation. "And you had to go and point it out."

"Dean, you are not the only one who is curious. I too..." Castiel shifted uncomfortably on the bed and feeling like he was back at the den of iniquity. And this time there was no alcohol for him to hide behind. "I do not wish to die a virgin. Again."

"Seriously?" Castiel nodded. Dean seemed to debate with himself internally for a few moments before muttering a curse under his breath. "Well then you're going to have to do everything since you decided it was a good idea to beat the stuffing out of me."

"I apologise. What shall I do?"

"First." Dean beckoned Castiel over and wrapped his arm around Castiel to kiss him. This time was much more passionate with Castiel gasping to keep up with Dean. A tongue found its way into Castiel's mouth and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. Once Castiel found Dean's hand on his crotch, Castiel decided he did like it. Castiel shifted carefully over Dean so that he was straddling Dean and Dean would not have to strain his abdomen. In response, Dean started roaming his arms around Castiel's body from the front to back, top to bottom. Castiel moved closer to Dean in response until he was pressed gently against Dean's chest. Dean broke off the kiss and instead moved to kiss Castiel's exposed neck and clavicle. Not being able to move much, Dean focused his mouth around that are while his hands worked on Castiel's pants. After opening his pants, Dean shoved his hand into Castiel's underwear to work on pleasuring the half hard angel.

Dean leaned back into the pillows to catch his breath. Casiel propped both of his hands up over Dean's shoulders to hold himself steady as he breathed in raggedly in time with Dean's pumping of his erection. Dean smirked. "Never thought I'd be doing this with a guy nevertheless an angel, but I guess it couldn't hurt too much to try." Dean removed his hands from Castiel's underwear and instead started pulling off the rest of Castiel's clothes. "Second, get completely naked. You need to help me here."

Castiel stood up to kick off his pants before gently helping Dean lift up his hips to remove his jeans and boxers. Finally both naked, Castiel got back onto the bed to straddle Dean carefully. "Third, lube. Can you get some?"

"Lubrication? Oil or water base?"

Dean raised an eyebrow but answered without comment. "Water would be fine." Dean blinked as Castiel seemingly produced the requested product out of thin air. Castiel glanced at the label briefly before turning it around to read the ingredients. "Oh you've got to be kidding." Dean snatched the lubricant from Castiel and took a hold of his right hand. "Palms out." Dean squirted a good amount onto Castiel's palm before spreading it over Castiel's fingers.

"I see, you wish for me to open up your anus to allow an easier passage of my penis—"

"Okay! Cas, just do it. Oh this is going to be hard." Dean slid further down the bed so he was not propped up against the pillows. "Cas get off a second." Castiel got off the bed as Dean spread his legs.

"Here, allow me." Castiel gently sat himself between Dean's legs and propped Dean's legs on his knees. He then pulled Den to his chest gently and telekinetically moved the pillows to Dean's back again so that he could be partially raised without having to bang his head on the headboard. Dean wrapped one arm around Castiel's neck, trusting Castiel to be strong enough to be able to support his weight and not be strained.

"Okay fourth, go _slow_. I've never done this before."

"Nor have I." Castiel gently reached between both erections and prodded Dean's anus gently with his index finger. Slowly, Castiel pushed his finger in, mindful of his own supernatural strength. Castiel slowly twirled his fingers around in small circles while pushing in, knowing it would gently force open the sphincter muscles. "Is this too much Dean?"

"Nope. Not too bad actually. But considering I've been with Alistair—"

"Hush." The entire index finger had been pushed in entirely. Castiel twirled his fingers gently to press against unyielding muscles that were quickly yielding to the intrusion. Recalling his knowledge of human anatomy, Castiel gently pushed his finger upward against a nub through the divide of the rectum.

"Cas!"

"Prostate gland. It controls the opening and closing of the urethra—"

"Oh shut up and do that again."

Castiel smiled, amused by the flush and wild expression on Dean's face. But nevertheless, Castiel pressed against the prostate again and again, massaging Dean's prostate as he inserted another finger. Using this method, Castiel managed to insert three fingers into Dean in preparation.

"Fuck. Cas. I'm not going to last much longer."

Castiel gently pulled out his fingers and shifted so that he could kiss Dean chastely on the lips. "Be careful of your injuries Dean. And let me know if you are in pain and want to stop."

Instead of responding, Dean used his free hand to reach between them to coat Castiel's erection with lubricant. Castiel gasped and clenched his eyes to focus on the feeling. After allowing Dean to stroke him as he pleased for a minute, Castiel stopped Dean and moved so that his erection was lined with Dean's hole. Seeing Dean's nod, Castiel gently started pressing into Dean's body.

Castiel could instantly understand why Dean didn't want him to die a virgin. It wasn't so much the pleasure as it was the warmth. It as a comforting, loving warmth that made Castiel feel invigorated, as though he had his full power. In essence, it felt like he was coming home. Castiel reached over to cover the scar he burnt into Dean's shoulder and linked his mind with Dean's. Dean felt no pain from his injuries, but he did feel a dull ache from where his muscles were stretched. Consciously feeling Dean's own feeling, Castiel began to move when he felt Dean want him to move. Slowly and quietly, Castiel moved gently in and out of Dean as Dean gasped his name in time with each thrust. Feeling Dean's mind, Castiel could easily recognise when Dean wanted him to move a certain way or move at a certain angle. Slowly, the warmth within Castiel built in time with Dean's orgasm and together they came in a rush of white light that blinded Castiel. But who's face is that smiling gently?

Castiel caught himself before he fell onto Dean and leaned down to kiss Dean gently on the forehead. Dean opened his eyes wearily, smiling and gasping as he tried to catch his breath. Castiel pulled a clean corner of the bedsheets towards them and tenderly wiped away Dean's ejaculate from his abdomen. He then smoothly removed himself from Dean before setting Dean's legs back down. Castiel moved to get off the bed but Dean's arm caught him.

"Stay here." Dean looked to the side of the bed. Castiel nodded and moved to settle himself by Dean's side. Deah leaned over, meeting Castiel a quarter of the way, to kiss him gently on the lips. Pulling back, Dean smirked. "There's no way in fucking Heaven or Hell can you be a virgin pulling moves like that."

Castiel blinked before giving a wry grin. "I will take that as a complement then."

"Yeah sure. Nothing like getting the shit beaten out of me and then getting a mind blowing fuck. What a day. And I was going to be Michael's angel condom. Fuck me sideways."

"Maybe when your injuries heal and when we save the world."

Dean snapped his head around to meet Castiel's gaze. "Yeah, sure. Definitely. Though Sam's going to bitch about it a lot."

Castiel cupped Dean's face in his hand. "Somehow I doubt that."

"Right." Dean closed his eyes.

"Will you fight with Sam and me to the very end? Dean?"

"I don't know. But right now, I would have to say 'yes' to that. Let's just hope this time what Crowley has in mind will work."

"It will. Rest now Dean." Castiel watched Dean as he fell asleep and kept watch through the night, never letting go of Dean. Castiel couldn't help but wonder though, was he the fifth angel that saw the face of God?

* * *

Done! All fifteen of the spontaenous-oh-my-god-I-can't-get-this-out-my-head one shot. Again, I'm blushing like mad after writing that sex scene and again, I really hope I got every character's voices correct. It's much more difficult to write Sam, Dean, and Cas this season than last season since the three of them are going through so much. So, hope that's believable.

Now other notes, lots of references to spoilers for future episode. I'm not going to say which parts are the spoilers just in case you don't want to know. Heck that entire fight scene was straight from the preview clip of the 100th episode with my own interpretation of the series of events. Also, lot's of references to other episodes in season five, so if you haven't seen it. You might be a bit confused. Also, a small shout out for the 100th episode with the motel room number.

Now the whole Castiel being resurrected by God bit, well that's just what I kind of see it/hope it is. Because, plot wise currently, it just doesn't make sense. Because though I absolutely love Castiel to death, I'm also wondering what is his role in the Apocalypse aside from keeping those idiot Winchesters out of trouble. Poor Cas, these last couple of episodes have been tough for him. I hope it gets better for him.

So do I ship Sam/Castiel? Not really. But I do like their interaction and Castiel's "Sam is my friend" bit. So I had to throw in some bonding time between those two. Now if you throw Dean somewhere in to the mix between those two, that's another story. Oh dear god I hope Jensen, Jared, and Misha never read this. Ever. Because I would have to profusely apologise in that case. Or Kripke for that matter.

Now I have no idea if the demon contract thing is true or not, but so far, it seems all crossroads demons do fulfil their contracts to the word. And the angels have been playing these three boys for way too long, so I don't believe a word of what they're saying. And does anyone else like Crowley as much as I do? Of course it could just be Mark Sheppard, but Crowley's pretty awesome with the whole "Moron!"

Please Review! Second Supernatural fic, so feedback would be nice.

-Sailor Moonac


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